Title: Always And Forever
By: Mrs.NicholasJ.Jonas
Category: Friendship/Romance
Summary:
There's a definiton for love, and there's a definition for friendship. But there's nothing in between. What happens when new feelings comes into the picture? Will they risk their life-long friendship for something more, something unsure and new? No one said feelings were an easy thing...especially when were talking about love!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Jonas Brothers, or anything else!

Status: On Hiatus, for now. Working on it!





A/N: I hope you'll like this. It's mainly about OC(Original Character) and Nick Jonas, but Kevin, Joe, Frankie, Denise and Paul Kevin are also involved. Please review(thread) and tell me what you think about each chapter I post. Any questions, feel free to ask me. I'll post new chapters now and then, mainy when I've gotten some feedback. I love to hear from my readers.
That's it, now read and enjoy!!!



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Title: Always And Forever
By: MrsNicholasJonas
Chapter: 1
Name Of Chapter: My Blessed Friend
Disclaimer: I don't own Jonas Brothers, or anything else!


-There's a definition for friendship...and there's a definition for love. Nothings in between. You find friendship poems and you find love poems, but do you ever find a mix? Don't think so. But here's the thing, my life is sort of a mix; a mix of feelings, of friendship and love. I always knew what the friendship meant to me, but when the love came, it got harder. It started when I was four years old, and I went to the church with my grandmother. I got amazed by the boy in the church chorus.

Ever since that day, I went to church every Sunday. And it didn't take long before we were friends, best friends. We always played together, and sometimes with his older brothers as well, and I was always at their house. My mom and dad weren't much of a Christian type, so after my grandmother died I went together with my best friends family to the church. My best friend Nicholas dad was a minister in the church, and Nicholas along with his brothers sang on every Sunday service. I, on the other hand, had my usual spot on first row.

I will never forget that one Sunday morning, the church was filled up, and Paul Kevin Sr. had just started the service, when he asked his youngest son who was seven then, Nicholas to come up to the alter and say some words. Nicholas just gave me a shy smile, before stepping up beside his father. It was from that very moment when he said those words I knew for sure that he was my very best friend in the world and would always be.
“This is dedicated to my friend Christine,” Nicholas said and looked at me with those cute small brown eyes. And he spoke the words that sat the first footprints in my heart.

'I don’t want you in my life
I need you in my life
You’re not my friend
You’re my best friend
I don’t like you
I love you
And I’m glad I found you
Because I was absolutely
Lost without you!'

Ever since that day, Nicholas and I have been best friends. We could share everything with each other, good and bad. If one of us was upset, the other one knew exactly what to d to make it better. And we weren't just best friends in the whole wide world, we were also soul mates!


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Title: Always And Forever
By: MrsNicholasJonas
Chapter: 2
Name Of Chapter: This Is My Life
Disclaimer: I don't own Jonas Brothers, or anything else!

-Dear diary!
My name is Christine, I'm 15 years old. How to describe myself? I have brown long straight hair, I love to write songs, I love music, schools not too bad, I have great friends. I love to draw and paint, I'm a sensitive person, I love green apples and if I had to choose one thing in the world to bring to a lost island, I'd bring my best friend Nicholas. Favorite subject at school? Let's see; math, biology, geography, science, English, French, Art. Okay, that's a long list. When it comes to sport, I like to watch soccer and basketball, and I love to play golf and to run. I love books and hate magazines, I like having money but I use them too fast. What I always wear, my promise ring and necklace I got from Nicholas. I hate; pizza, hamburger and people who mess with my friend. I'm pretty shy, but I know what I want. Oh, and last but not least, I love playing guitar, I suck at singing, but I love it anyway.

-The dark side of my life: Two times in my life, something terrible happened that had a huge infect on my life. The first time was when my grandmother died. She was the person who always brought me to the church, who taught me so much important in my life. “You'll do very fine Christine. I know you will. My time here is over, but your time has just started. I will always be here with you sweetheart, search in your heart.” I sat by her side in the hospital bed. She'd gotten cancer, and she said that God was ready to bring her to heaven now. I had cried, and told her how much I needed her, that she couldn't leave just yet. I needed answers, I needed her. She just smiled at me, and then she said something I will never forget.

“Christine, remember this, always remember this; We're all in the hands of God, and it's up to him to decide our destiny. But still, you have to do what you feel is right, go your own way, go the right way and don't fall in the traps. Cause life my dear is a gift from God, and use it well, appreciate it. Don't do anything you will regret, don't miss a chance to do something you really want.” And I realized she was right. So I told her goodbye, and that I would always have a place for her in my heart, and that one day I was going to make her proud. Then she squeezed my hand, one last time, and told me she loved me very much. And she never woke up again, she slept peaceful in. That same night, I didn't follow my parents back home, I ran.

I ran to my and my friends secrets place. And I prayed, that God would give grandmother a nice time in heaven, that she'd be happy and find grandfather. It was a beautiful night, all the stars were out, and it was so very quiet. Then I heard someone appropriate behind me. I turned around slowly, greeted by the only person I'd wanted to see right then. “Nicholas, she's in heaven now, don't you think?” he came towards me, he held a flower in his hand. “She's probably sitting together with my grandpa right now,” he said and took my hand. We stood like that, watching the stars, tight together. Then he lifted the flower up, and I took a hold of it as well. And together we threw it into the river, and watched as the river took it farther and farther away.

“Always best friends,” I wowed. “Always,” he wowed back.

But that wasn't the worst. No, the worst time was when Nicholas got admitted to the hospital, and got diagnosed with diabetes. He was thirteen, I was twelve. I remember standing together with his oldest brother in the hallway. And I was so scared, that he was going to die, that he was going to leave me. Kevin held his arm around me, and his other brother, Joe was pacing back and forth in the hallway. When we finally were allowed into the room, we all got shocked. Cause Nicholas looked so sick, so pale and fragile. I ran by his side, taking his cold hand in mine, whispering in his ear. “You're not leaving me are you? You can't leave me, you can't, you can't.” Silent tears streamed down my cheeks.

“Christine, he's going to be fine,” his mom assured me, putting her hand on my back. “But he'll need some time, to get better. He's going to go through a hard time now, and needs medication.” Nicholas stayed in the hospital for five days, and I never left his side. After two days he started to get better, so we played some games, and talked a lot. His mom Denise brought us some school work and we went through it together. We also wrote a song together. I'd brought my guitar and we wrote down the lyrics. That was the first time I told him how much he really meant to me, and what influence he had in my life. And I cried, and he cried.

“I'm going to be fine, I promise you. But you have to be patient, I may be feeling down sometimes. But you'll have to remember that it isn't your fault, if I get tired or annoyed. Sometimes I may want to keep to myself. Just remember, it's not your fault.” And I lay in his bed, close to him, and I knew I'd be alright.


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Title: Always And Forever
By: MrsNicholasJonas
Chapter: 3
Name Of Chapter: A Place For Me In The Brotherhood
Disclaimer: I don't own Jonas Brothers, or anything else!

-They're three brothers, they are world famous, and they are my best friends. They are three unique brothers, and also the Jonas Brothers. But even as stars, they're still the same old. Kevin, he's still the caring one, doing his best to be a great role model for his younger brothers. But even being the oldest, he's not always the most responsible one, and he's kinda dramatic, in a funny kinda way though. He's also great to hang out with, cause if there's someone who can keep the situation from being just laughing and fun(Joseph) or quiet and awkward(Nicholas) it's him. And man, he likes to chat. Probably his favorite hobby.

Joe. Okay, I still call him Joseph, and he's the klutz. His famous nickname is danger, and that is true, to a certain degree. But it's more a danger to himself than to anyone else. I have no idea where he gets the energy from, but somehow he's a light bulb shining 24/7.

Then we have Nick. I'm still getting used to the new names. I prefer to call them by their real names though. So Nicholas, he's been quite changing in a way, since he got diagnosed with diabetes and after they started the band. He's a lot quieter than before, at least around everybody else, and sometimes I need to remind myself that thousands of fans would kill to be in my place. But deep down he's still the same Nicholas that I grew up together with, the same boy who sang in the chores in the church, the one I shared everything with.

We do travel on tours, and the paparazzi is everywhere, all the time. But Nicholas always have time for me. I usually help them to write songs, and then they perform them for me. “A lot of songs we write, are based on you, and you inspire them,” Nicholas told me one day. “I wrote a song for you,” he said one day they had a day off and we were alone in the band bus. He picked up one of his many guitars. He smiled at me, his long brown curls falling down in his eyes. And then the air was filled with his soft beautiful voice. How I loved those moments, I always felt so special when he'd take me somewhere alone and he'd sing to me.

'How long will I be waiting, to be with you again

I'm gonna tell you that I love you in the best way that I can

I can't take a day without you here

You're the light that makes my darkness disappear

When you look me in the eyes

And tell me that you love me

Everything is alright, when you're right here by my side

When you look me in the eyes

I catch a glimpse to heaven

I find my paradise

When you look me in the eyes'

“Did you write that song for me?” I whispered as he was done. He smiled, putting the guitar down. “I wrote that song for my very best friend,” he replied. And I threw myself around his neck. “Have I told you how much you mean to me?” I said as I hugged him tight. “Just about a thousand times,” he chuckled. “Guess what,” I told him, my voice still weak.

“What,” he said. “I can keep tell you that a thousands of times, cause it's true.” It felt so nice, being with him. It always did. He was my fresh air, my shoulder I could cry on, my friend I could rely on. All of them where so caring and loving for each other. They had that relationship with each other that I longed for to have with my parents. When I told them I wanted to tour with the Jonas Brothers I guess they were relieved, cause all we did was fight at home. But the Jonas family welcomed me with open arms, and gave me so much love.

Even if the brothers had such a connected bond to each other, they had a place for me there as well. Traveling so many places, was an experience in it's self, and I never missed going back home. I had found my place, and that was in the Jonas brothers family, and together with the band crew, and everybody else who lived on the road. You might think that I'd be stressful, being on the move for over 250 days a year, and to have those long days the Jonas have.

But I really enjoy it, and I appreciate every moment. Cause when we gather together at the evening, praying and thanking God for another day, I know that I am where I am supposed to be. With all my friends and family around me, I have a special place in the group and in the Jonas family and brotherhood!


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Title: Always And Forever
By: MrsNicholasJonas
Chapter: 4
Name Of Chapter: Dancing and Orange Juice
Disclaimer: I don't own Jonas Brothers, or anything else!

-Were on summer tour, the sun is shining, and were back on the road. In the front theres, Kevin Sr, Denise and Frankie, the band crew in another bus, and Joseph, Nicholas, Kevin and I are in the back of the sleeping bus. Kevin sits on the computer, while Joseph is pouring himself a glass of juice. Nicholas and I are 'dancing', or the closest you can get to dancing in a moving bus. I stumble, and land in the sofa, and Nicholas gets a hysterical laughter outburst.

“That wasn't even funny,” I mumble, rubbing my sore foot. Nicholas continues laughing, so hard that he has to settle down on the floor. “Um, just to hint, Christine, I think he's laughing of Joe,” Kevin says, with a big grin, pointing at Joe. I turn around, facing a soaked unhappy Joe, with an empty glass in his hand. “Wait, did you just spill all of my lovely orange juice...on yourself?” A smile tapped on my mouth as well. “You know, I was saving that one for later. But I guess I'll just buy a new one then.” Joe sat the glass back down. “I think my clothes were thirsty as well, thought I'd just share some, you know. I'm a sharesome friend,” he said as he threw off his t-shirt and went into the bathroom.

“Is that even a word? Sharesome?” I asked a little over hyper Nicholas who was still laying on the floor. He just smiled, before rolling over, and turning up the music. “Hey, guys, check out this,” Kevin yelled over the music. Nicholas and I went over to him when we heard the bathroom door open.

“I meant those of you who aren't covered in smelly juice,” Kevin said, wrinkling his nose. “What?” Joe burst out. “It's not my problem that you dislike fruit, and by the way I've read that juice is good for your skin.” A smile spread on Nicholas and my face again. “Maybe you'll be more attractive around the girls now, since you smell so refreshing,” I teased. Joe just smirked and waved at me before closing the door again. We turned to Kevin again, who had just started a YouTube video. “This is the stage we're performing on today,” Kevin said proudly, showing us a video of another band performing on the stage.

“Wow, that's a huge stage. And what a view,” I said, looking closer. Nicholas looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking. “We're so standing on the top of it.” Kevin's eyes grew big. “Are you kidding, it's like ten meters up or something.” Nicholas just lifted his shoulders. “We've got to try it anyway. Change is nice.” I was a little skeptic as well. “Is is dangerous?” I asked Nicholas. “Well...” he said looking at the bathroom door where we heard Joe singing. “Only for Joe.” I nodded. “Of course.” Then we heard a different kind of sound coming from the bathroom, I think it was a growl or something, and we all turned to look at the door again. “You know, I can hear you clearly out there,” Joseph spoke. And we laughed again.

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Only a few days later, Nicholas came into the tour bus. We were all sitting in the sofa, watching a movie, and talking. We were just heading for New York, and everything was great. Frankie, their little brother, was having a great time on tour as well. Now he sat next to me, explaining to me how he was a better drummer than Nicholas. Nicholas dumped his bag down in his bed, before finding his laptop. “Hey,” I greeted him, getting up.

“Um, Christine, nows really not the time.” I creased my eyebrows, leaning by the wall frame. “Is something wrong?” I asked, concerned. The concert had been excellent, the best so far. “Christine, just....don't bother. It's nothing really. I just want to be alone, please.” I was a little bit hurt, he never turned me down, but I turned without a word and went back to the others. I knew something was up with him, cause he'd never acted like this before. Not with me at least.

“Hey, Christine, come over here,” Joe said waving at me. “Don't bother about Nick, let's have fun. You think you can win over me in monopoly? I bet you can beat Kevin, but I'm harder competition.” He gave me a smirk, and I laughed. “Sure, let's play. But you're going to loose your money first mister.” “We'll see about that chipmunk.” I crossed my arms. “Franklin's on my team then.” Joe just grinned. “Deal.”


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Title: Always And Forever
By: MrsNicholasJonas
Chapter: 5
Name Of Chapter: A Little Bit Longer
Disclaimer: I don't own Jonas Brothers, or anything else!

-Later that night, Nicholas was still acting weird, and kept distance from me. “Kevin, do you know what's up with Nicholas?” I asked. “He won't talk to you about it? I think maybe something happened on the stage today. I think he's having some problems with his insulin. I'll go talk to him.” I just nodded. Denise gave me a quick smile as she passed.

“He will get back to normal soon, just give him some time. He doesn't want to bother you,” she whispered in my ear. I saw Kevin sitting with him, and they talked with low voices, then suddenly Nicholas got up and disappeared out of the bus. I hurried over to the window, and caught a glimpse of him entering the band bus. Kevin just lifted his shoulders when I gave him a questionably look. I grabbed my jacked, and told Joe.

“We'll call it then. Both winners,” I said, and Joe just gave me a tumble up. “Hey, I know Christine and I won. We have two hotels, you've only got one,” I heard Franklin say stubbornly, before I left the bus. I walked over to the band bus, and stood under one of the windows, when I heard someone starting to play at the keyboard.

I lent closer, listening for something more. It was starting to get freezing, the wind breaking through my jacket. Then I heard it, his angel voice. But it was sad, his voice sounded weak and down. I hurried to the front, stepping inside the bus. My cheeks warm and red from the sudden temperature change. I shrugged out of my jacket, tiptoeing further into the bus. That's when I saw him.

His face hung down, as his fingers swept over the tangents. And he song, the words so soft, so marble and sad.

'Got the news today
Doctor said I had to stay
A little bit longer and I'll be fine
Though it all been done,
though it all been said
A little bit longer and I'll be fine'

I didn't notice the tears in his eyes first, but when I saw one rolling down his cheeks, I forgot that he wasn't supposed to see me. “Nicholas,” I murmured, so low. But once the words were out of my mouth, I came back to reality, and quickly covered my mouth with my hand. I knew he had heard me, but he didn't respond, he didn't even look at me. He just put his fingers back on the keyboard, and started singing again.


'But you don't know what you got till it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
And everytime you smile or laugh you glow
You don't even know, no, no
You don't even know'


I didn't notice my own tears that streamed down my face, before I could barely see him anymore. Then it was silent, he'd stopped playing, stopped singing. I didn't move, I just looked at him, and he looked out the window where the rain poured down now.

“You know the pain I've been through, you know how I've felt. You know what I'm dealing with everyday, and you help me so much. But there's also so much you' can't understand, so much you never will be able to understand. But I've made myself a promise, here and now, today. And that is, that even how hard it'll be, even if it's going to feel impossible sometimes, I'm not going to give up, and I'll never stop fighting. Cause it's not going to slow me down...ever.”

He looked up at me as he said those last words. I had to cover up my mouth again, trying to hold back a sob. But I wasn't just sad and hurting for him, I was also so very very proud of him. And he smiled, reaching out his hand. And I was at his side at once, throwing myself into his lap. None of us said a word, there's was no need for words, the moment talked for itself.

That was the day it all started to change, the day it all got turned upside down. Not only did Nicholas start a new better life, knowing that his disease was never going to slow him down or stop him from living the dream, I also started to get this strange new feeling. I've never felt it before, for sure, to be honest I'd never thought about it that way. But I knew, when I saw him that night, letting all his feelings out, that there was something more to this boy.

He was more than just my best friend, more than a normal boy, more than a super rock star. He had this incredible strength inside himself, a power that amazed me. Looking into his brown soft eyes that night, I saw a glimpse of something more. More than joy, and love, and carefulness, and all the other great personalities he had. I saw this sudden hope, this light. And I knew, that he could manage and do everything he wanted to. And I knew that he was more than just my best friend, more than my soul mate.

Cause he'd just given me the strength I needed, he'd made my life brighter. And I looked at him with different eyes. Every time I saw him, or if I just heard his name, adrenaline kicked through my body. I felt a wave of joy, excitement, happiness. It made me smile, it made my heart swell. It was a feeling that I could definitely get used to, cause I liked every second of it!

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Title: Always And Forever
By: MrsNicholasJonas
Chapter: 6
Name Of Chapter: Nighttime conversations
Disclaimer: I don't own Jonas Brothers, or anything else!

-The next couple of days were so hectic. The next interview after the other, photo takings, performances, and a lot of other things. I barely saw them for three whole days. They raced back and forth in New York city, together with their dad and manager, co-manager, Big Rob of course and sometimes the band and crew. Denise, Franklin and I were for the most of the time left alone. We'd go visit some places, do some shopping and taking Franklin to the fun park.

But I really did start missing the boys after the third day they didn't come back to the tour bus. They stayed over at different hotels instead, cause they had to get up so early. Kevin always called Denise of me every night, to hear how we were doing, and telling about their day. Nicholas usually text me a few times, telling me about some crazy stuff they saw, or how Joseph had tripped and fell down some stairs, getting himself a cut in the forehead. We should be glad his hair is getting so long now, that it'll cover it up. It was nine o'clock in the evening, when my phone suddenly started vibrating. I took it up and answered it.

“Kevin,” I said, knowing he was the one to call. “It's Joseph actually,” he heard Joseph's voice say. “Oh, right, I though you were Kevin since you're using his phone. So what's up? Anything interesting today?” I heard him laugh quietly for himself. “Oh right, your little stunt in the stairs, Nicholas told me about that. How's your forehead doing?” A smile tugged on my mouth as well. “I'm glad I have a hard and strong head though, my feet don't seem to mind causing it pain now and then.” I sat down in my bed bunk, turning on the light.

“I'm not surprised at all. But hey, when are you guys coming back? I mean, were heading for Washington tomorrow morning aren't we?” “We are. We're catching up with you again on the road. We have a few more stuff to fix here first. But we'll meet you about half way. The band is coming back tonight to sleep in their bus, as well as the stage crew. But seriously, I can't stand another night in the hotel. Sleeping together with Nick?” I laughed, pulling up my notice block from my bed. “Hey, he snores, he talks in his sleep, not to dimension singing. Kevin doesn't really seem to bother though, he sleeps like a stone.” I just shook my head. “Joseph, really, he doesn't snore that loud, I can tell. Your dad on the other hand...” Joseph just grunted. “I know, but he's not sleeping with us, thank God. But seriously it's getting on my nerves, I'm a light sleeper. No wonder why I always shared room with Kevin back home,” he mumbled to himself.

“Hey, you'll survive. I'm dealing with him tomorrow night again.” Nicholas, Franklin and I had the smallest beds in the very back of the sleeping bus. But I had to admit, Nicholas had grown a lot since the tour started, and it was starting to get too small for him. In the middle of the bus, Kevin, Joe and Denise slept, and on the other side of the kitchen, Big Rob and Kevin Sr. had their bunks. I was a light sleeper myself, but I was so used to Nicholas snores and sleep talking that I never really noticed. Franklin, was like Kevin, sleeping as a stone. But all in all, it worked out really well. We were eight people sleeping in the same bus, and it wasn't all that comfortable, but I don't think any of us had sleeping issues. We were usually exhausted of the end of the day, and could have probably slept anywhere then. Especially the boys. I felt sorry for Nicholas sometimes, cause dealing with all the stress they had, and to manage his diabetes was a hard thing.

Every night he took his routine tablets, insulin through needles and a dose of energy medication. I always helped him with the stuff, and he hated needles, even if he wouldn't admit it, so I usually did that for him. Denise would always come to action, but she saw how well he and I managed it, so she just checked in on us. I always asked him if he'd remember to eat before taking the medicines, and I filled up a bottle of water that he kept by the bed at night. I really did like helping him out, and he appreciated it. He always thanked me, and when we lay in our beds, and Denise and Kevin Sr. had taken their round to say goodnight, we talked together.

It was the only time of the day we had a real chance to talk in private. But in the last week he'd usually been too tired to say much, and I didn't blame him for that. In those days, I was the one who talked and asked, and he only nodded, shook his head or replied shortly. Sometimes, I would sit in his bed, playing with his curls or his hand. It was nice, it felt nice, sitting with him, talking to him. It was almost as we did when we were little. Sometimes I would lay in my bed, looking at him as he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. A smile always tugged on his lips, and his face looked so relaxed. In the last couple of months he'd changed so much. His face, getting a more mature look, his hands were bigger, his voice changing slowly, getting just a hint deeper. And not to talk about his height.

He was turning sixteen soon, the day before I turned. He had the 16th of September, I had the 17th. We always celebrated our days together, and we shared a huge cake. It was fun, and even though we were getting a little too old for silly games, we always had our little blow-out-the-candles-on-the-cake-first competition. He usually let me win, but after I found that out a few years ago and told him, he started to really try to win. Last year he won, and I complained about how he'd started before me. I was definitely going to win this year. I'd practiced a lot on taking deep breaths, not to dimension that I played the cornet, which you need to work on your breath intaking to manage playing.

As I said, we talk about everything at nighttime. We'd even discuss such a thing as golf, and he tried to teach me some tricks, explaining them to me. I loved golf, but I have to admit that I was probably never going to be any better. The last time I played I didn't only hit the ball, I hit Kevin in the head pretty hard as well. Kevin then placed me safely behind Nicholas, leaving him up to teach me. But we also had those nights were we talked about stuff as life and God and nature. We had so many different ideas about how it all worked together, and how and why we lived. And it was nice, to talk like this. No interruptions from the others, and not from the world outside. Just the two or us, we best friends. And I missed him now, I missed talking to him now that he weren't here. Franklin always took his bed when he weren't here, and none of thought about dimension that to him. I sent him a text though, to make sure he was alright, and to ask him if he'd handled the needles alone.

Nicholas: I'm fine, really. I don't need you to always do it for me you know:P

Me: Really?Haha. Anyway, miss you guys. Oh, and try not to snore too loud, poor Joseph:D

Nicholas: We miss you too, see you tomorrow. Btw, I'll TRY my best. G night, sleep tight.

Me: Yeah, see you tomorrow, tell the others G night from me. Night night. Oh, and I love you curlyhead:-)

Nicholas: Love u too chipmunk. Kevin says G night as well..and Joe says something about how he's going to have a terrible dream. Haha! See u 2morrow...

I smiled to myself, reaching over and stroke Franklin lightly over his hair, before whispering goodnight to him as well. After praying, I turned out the light, and went to sleep. Ready to face another busy and hectic day in the life of Jonas.

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Title: Always And Forever
By: MrsNicholasJonas
Chapter: 7
Name Of Chapter: The invisible wall
Disclaimer: I don't own Jonas Brothers, or anything else!

-Next morning I woke up with a start. We were moving. Wait, what time is it? I picked up my phone, and blinked a few times before looking at the screen. 5.30 AM. Well, this was going to be fun. I went to the bathroom, washed myself, and got dressed before heading over to the kitchen section. Franklin and Denise were still sleeping, so my only company would be the bus driver. I poured myself a cup of coffee before settling down on the coach in between my, Franklin's and Nicholas sleeping area and the sleeping area in the middle. I sat in my own thoughts for awhile, my mind drifting back to that night when I followed Nicholas to the band bus and found him playing and singing that song.

I'd asked him, the next day, if he were to finish it. He just told me that he wasn't going to think more about it for awhile. The situation between us had been pretty tense since. I knew how he was, for heavens sake, I knew him too well. He was the quiet one in the family, he didn't like talking about his feelings. But he'd given me the look, and when I'm talking about the look, I mean the look. The look that tells me something was bothering him. His eyes always seemed to search for something in mines. I got that awful feeling in my body, and goose bumps rose in my arms when ether his eyes met mine. And his eyebrows were always wrinkled, like he was trying hard to keep a straight normal face. Then they had left, been gone for three days. He didn't call me, but he never called.

I want to see your face when I hear your voice. Or else I want to text you, or write to you.

I still remember when he had told me that. And I agreed. I didn't like to hear his voice when I couldn't read the meaning behind the words on his face. It was the same with his music. When ether he would sing, I wanted to see him sing or perform. That's why I never listened to their music other than live. Something happened in this moment. I just sat there, staring out the window, sipping my coffee. And I picked up my notebook, and before I knew it, it was written.

And I caught my breath, cause I had written it to Nicholas, and it was exactly what I felt right now. And I couldn't understand how I could feel this way, I had no idea I really felt this way. My heart had written down words without my brain involved. I didn't know what I felt, and suddenly my world got turned upside down.

Cause the truth was, those words my heart wrote, were words I couldn't let my mind know about. It was like I had this invisible wall between my mind and heart. I couldn't think about it, couldn't read it. So I did the only thing I could do. I grabbed the paper, and broke it into a million pieces, and I opened the window. I was afraid, afraid that even if those words would disappear, they wouldn't leave my heart. No, I couldn't ever let myself think this way again, I could never let my heart get exposed this was. I was ashamed of myself, of my lack of self control.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to hit myself, but most of all, I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe when I told myself that it wasn't true. And the problem was, I couldn't. I knew so many things in that moment, it was like heaven had sent thoughts down in my head, and I suddenly understood everything. I knew it was never ever going to be the same, that our relationship was going a new direction now. I also knew that I had to remain the wall, the wall between my heart and mind. But also a wall between Nicholas and me. Cause I knew that we were going in two different pats now. But most of all, I knew we had a hard time in front of us, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to act like before around him.

I looked down at my necklace he'd gotten me many years ago. I took a good hold of it, and closed my eyes. I knew that when I now, in a few seconds opened the little silver heart, I would look at him with new eyes, see another boy. But in that moment when my eyes saw his face, in that little heart, I shut it again. So quickly I thought I'd break it. No, I wasn't going to let me do this. It was settled. I'd made my invisible wall between my soul and mind, and my heart. Cause my mind was stronger than my heart.

The wall had to remain. And I could never let the wall disappear!


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Title: Always And Forever
By: MrsNicholasJonas
Chapter: 8
Name Of Chapter: It's More Than Just A Feeling
Disclaimer: I don't own Jonas Brothers, or anything else!

Nicholas POV


She was on my mind, all the time, more than she should be. I thought about her too much, and it was so strange. Only a few days ago she'd just been my best friend Christine. She'd laughed, smiled, we'd talked, everything we did as always. But then suddenly, that night when she came into the band bus, when I sang and played. I knew she was there all the time, and I pretended as it didn't matter. I felt so strange that night.

First, I had forgotten to take my extra insulin before heading back out on the stage after clothes change, and that really sat me out. I was running high, my body started sweating, and I didn't feel well at all. Later, after the show, it hit me. I felt so down then, I can't remember ever feeling that low before. So I went over to the band bus, I sat down and all of a sudden the melody and the words came flowing into my mind. And I wrote the song that was going to change me. Cause when I'd turned to Christine, and seen her face, I'd gotten filled with this amazing feeling.

And I'd suddenly felt that I could do anything, and everything. That night, when I'd laid in my bed, I'd known it was all changing. I'd felt it, seen it, heard it. I just wanted to reach out, grab her hand, intertwine our fingers. But then a picture came into my head, so fast. And then it disappeared. My eyes widened as it all hit me. What was I thinking? Oh my...how could I even think like that? She was my best friend, she was everything to me. I couldn't do this to her. I could never tell her how I was starting to feel. No, I would ruin everything.

I would ruin a life long friendship, I would loose my very special girl.

She wasn't just a best friend to me, she was my only best friend, my only important girl except from my mom. I couldn't risk loosing her. Oh, why was I so stupid? Why did I have to get these feelings? And why now? I slammed my hand down in my pillow, taking deep breaths. How could I look at her again without getting all kind of strange feelings? This was really bad, really really bad. I had no idea if I was ever going to make it, to remain normal around her. I closed my eyes, laying back down on my pillow. I needed to focus on my music, that was it. I could do that, pretend to be really busy. Not that it wasn't true.

We were always busy, but I'd just make myself more busy. I needed to write some more new songs as well. Kevin and Joe were waiting for me to come up with some new ideas to songs anyway. That was my job, at least that was what they told me. But Christine always helped me write songs...okay, that wasn't going to work out anymore. No way.

Gosh.

Why was this so hard? What was going on with me?

I needed to focus on my lyrics. I'd told her I wasn't going to finish my song about diabetes, that wasn't exactly the truth. I had already written that one. But she was the only one who'd heard it. Some lyrics started to pop up in my head, and I said them in my head. I knew all too well just what they described. It was exactly how I felt right now. Lyrics were always that. But even though, this was something I'd never felt before, and somehow this was all new to me. They'd never been this personal before, that's for sure. First my piano lullaby, and now this. I sighted.

'This here is something personal
I highly doubt this feeling is reversible
Now this pain and that is why it hurts to know
I can't even find the perfect brush
So I can paint what's going through my mind
Racing against myself, but I'm a couple steps behind
It's more than just a feeling It's more than what you see
I can't express with words, what's happening to me'

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Title: Always And Forever
By: MrsNicholasJonas
Chapter: 9
Name Of Chapter: Life In A Bus...With Four Boys
Disclaimer: I don't own Jonas Brothers, or anything else!


Christine's POV


-I took a shower, when we were finally stopping for a quick break and meeting up with the boys. I didn't look forward to that last part any longer. After those strange feelings this morning I wanted nothing else than go back to sleep. I didn't know if I was able to act normal around Nicholas right now either. I shook my head, not allowing myself to think more about it. I stepped out of the shower, got dressed, dried my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. My none makeup face looked paler than normal, I hadn't gotten any sun yet, my lips were pulled up in a firm line. I didn't usually wear any makeup, Nicholas didn't like it. He said I looked like a grown up then.

And that he loved my eyes, and how I ruined the nice color by adding black around them. I didn't usually care either, makeup wasn't any poor need. But today I did. It was like I wasn't the same girl anymore, like I wasn't Nicholas best friend, the girl who always took his advice. Actually that kind of annoyed me right now. I was able to take choices on my own, he didn't need to tell me what to do or not do. Just because he was a freaking rock star and I wasn't. That was why I put on makeup today. Not much though, only some mascara, and and a small gray eyeliner line below my eye. If I had to admit it, I didn't own anymore makeup than that.

I took one last look in the mirror, my eyebrows creasing. Then I let out a sight. I couldn't be mad at him, I had no reason to be mad at him. Not that I could ever be really mad at him anyway. I had to pull myself together, just act like I always act around him.

Hey, I've known him for what...like my whole life? I've shared all my secrets with him, there's nothing he doesn't know about me, I told myself.

Except from the feelings, a voice inside my head spoke.

Just as fast as the voice had showed, it disappeared again. No, I wasn't even going to think that. I was not listening to the heart. Ever. Ever is a long time. “Stop it,” I shouted out, but before I realized I did it, it was too late. Automatically my hand went up to cover my mouth. I definitely needed more self control.

“You alright in there sweetheart?” I heard Denise call from outside. I pulled myself together, shooting myself a hateful glare in the mirror, before gathering together my stuff and unlocking the bathroom door. “Oh, hey, I'm sorry if I woke you up. I was just having some problems with my...hairdryer.”

Dang.

I wanted to smack myself in the head. Seriously, hairdryer? I never used the hairdryer, ever. To say it with other words, I hated it. “Oh no, not at all, I was already up. But if you want me to help you out with the dryer I could...” I cut her off, shaking my head. “Oh really, I don't think I want to use it anyway. But thanks for asking. I'll just to put my stuff back in my closet. By the way, when are the boys here?”

Denise hung up a kitchen towel, turning the light off before answering. “I think they should be here any second now. We're having an hour break here first, eat some breakfast before we're on the road again. They're actually driving in the band bus, cause they're going to check out some new alternative songs. But I'm sure you can go with them then.” She gave me a warm smile before adding. “Oh, and you wouldn't mind waking Franklin for me? Tell him to get dressed before watching TV, playing games or playstation.” I nodded, smiling back before heading to my closet beside my bed.

“Frankie, Frankie...someone took your toys tonight. You better...” Franklin jumped up, his eyes wide open. “Who took my toys?” He said, ready to attack. I just laughed, before I heard a familiar voice behind me, and my heart made a jump. Oh, why did I suddenly have to have this kind of reaction by hearing his voice? It wasn't right, it wasn't right at all. I tried keeping my focus on Franklin, but all of a sudden, two pair of hands went over my eyes.

“I took your toys,” Nicholas whispered, still covering my eyes. “Hah, I knew it. I knew it,” Franklin yelled, throwing himself at the two of us, making me stumble and fall forwards. My hands went up in reflection, ready to catch myself when I hit the floor. But I never did, cause someone grabbed a hold around me, making me instead of falling, dumping into the person. And the person just happened to be Nicholas. He laughed his cute laugh, still holding on to me, so I could get my balance back. “Thought I should be used to this now,” I mumbled, looking at Franklin who ran back and forth, searching for his toys.

“What, me coming in unexpected or Franklin throwing himself at you?” He laughed, again, making me blush. “Both, apparently,” I spoke, just about to turn around. He stopped me, putting a hand on my cheek. Great, now I was blushing even deeper. Wait, why was I blushing?

His hands, so incredible soft, marble. Why had I never noticed that before? Right, we were just best friends before, best friends don't talk about or notice, at least isn't suppose to notice that kind of stuff.

“You're wearing something around your eyes,” he'd noticed, creasing his eyebrows. In that moment I just wanted to scream in his face that it was none of his business, but I was me, and he was Nicholas, so I didn't. “Oh yeah that, I just wanted to try something new,” I mumbled, again with that dumb mumbling. I was definitely making a fool of myself, and that's something I hated to admit.

“I am so not sleeping in the same room as Nick, ever again. Never E-v-e-r...” Joe said, spelling the last word to make it more obvious. I kinda had a feeling the word that Joe just spelled had been up a lot already this morning. “I swear Joe's right,” Kevin said, throwing his bag on his bed before coming over to the coach, limping down on it. I looked at Nicholas, then at Kevin. “You woke up?” I asked him sceptically. “Okay, that's bad.” Joe lay down on the other coach, his head in his hands, on his stomach, making snore sounds.

“But it's too late to pretend, you know me better than I know myself,” Joe started singing, copying Nicholas. “Yeah, it sounded something like that...at first. But then...” Kevin just shook his head, leaning back and closing his eyes as well. “Hey, guys really. I didn't sing,” Nicholas said moving over to lean against the wall.

“Oh yeah? Wanna bet? But at least something good came from it. Now we have a new song to work on. Hey Nick, why don't you go to sleep so we can hear the rest of the song. I think I should write it down or something. It's kinda hard to remember it in the middle of the night when I'm dead tired,” Joe said ironic, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen. Nicholas smiled, a half evil, half kidding kind of grin. I had to laugh then. They looked hilarious like only they could.

Joe, drawing some kind of thing...hard to tell. Kevin half asleep, sitting up on the coach, and Nick leaning over the coach, trying to punch Joe with a pillow. “Boys,” We heard Denise calling in the front. “And girl,” she added, her head appearing in the aisle. “We're heading out for breakfast. Get changed and cleaned up.” I looked around for Franklin, finding him deep down in his own little stool, to my surprise, writing something. “Buddy, time to get changed. What are you writing?” I said looking closer. “Just a song. You know, I'm going to be the Jonas Brother number four.” I patted him on the head. “Really? What about your own band?” He shook his head no.

“My brothers are so much cooler. I mean, they even come up with songs in their sleep.” I smiled at him. “Well...that's for sure. Come now, we'll go find your perfect outfit. You're heading out with your future band,” I joked, giving him a wink. He stood up. “Fine, but I'm so wearing Joe's t-shirt.” I looked at him confused. “Why?” He looked at me, giving me the famous 'Jonas' glare. “Nick and Joe always use each others, I want to as well.” I just nodded. “Okay, he'll probably agree on that, if,” I looked at him and whispered. “You borrow him some socks.” And Franklin just gave me a high five.

“He can even have the the batman ones.” Joe just gave me an evil smile. “Good idea,” Nicholas added. “Then I don't have to find my own socks lying dirty all over the place. I so owe you,” he said pointing to me before closing the bathroom door behind him. Well, this is fun.

Dealing with four brothers at the same time. You'd thought it was different when it came to the Jonas brothers?

Guess what, you're wrong. Still, life couldn't get more interesting than this. But hey, I'm not complaining!


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