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Crushed
Chapter One-No one understood-no one cared. So many people would walk by me and just see another face in the crowd. I was never special enough for anybody. I would sit alone in my room and cry all night-staring at that one face for comfort that was always pinned neatly on my wall.Joe Jonas.I'd never met him, but his face always brought a smile to my lips. Even if it was weak, even if it was pained, there it was. Little up-turned corners of my mouth.He was one of my inspirations for music, as well as Demi Lovato, his co-host in the best Disney Movie to me in the whole world, Camp Rock. I even had my own little song notebook, just like Demi had in the movie-and sometimes I wondered how the world in that movie was so innocent compared to the world we really live in.Joe Jonas was just another celebrity.That's what I was constantly hearing. Him and his two bros were just another boy band-arrogant, famous, cute, lip-syncing boys.Was I the only one who knew the difference between Joe Jonas and the average popstar? Was I? Did it even matter? I was constantly ignored by everyone I asked this question. Even my friends.Some friends.Being myself was hard-knowing I would never, EVER see his face-and if I did, would he accept me as a person like so many other people don't?I held the meet-and-greet pass tightly in my hand and stared at it. Too good to be true. Maybe I was dreaming.I placed my head back on my pillow and stared at his face for what seemed like forever."Cally, hurry up! You need to get ready to go!" "OK, mom." I could almost see her frown, even though she was all the way downstairs. I wasn't being enthusiastic at all about this. Should I be? I guess I should, considering I used to be so danged happy all the time. "I am ready!" I called down. "Almost," I said a little softer.I got up out of bed and slipped my Nike shoes on and brushed my hair. I stared at my own face in the mirror, holding the handle of my brush tight as it slipped through my hair over and over again.... My steel blue eyes almost seemed to have changed color over the years-I noticed. They used to be round and full of life-but no, not now. They were cold and hardened.I trodded down stairs, purse over my shoulder, pass in my pocket, a stone-faced expression on my face. This was it.My mom and I headed to her big white KIA Sorento. I hopped in the front seat and sat there as she turned the car engine on. A very concerned visage is what she bore, her hands gripped tightly on the wheel as she pulled out of the garage. "Cally, are you alright? Are you excited at all?"A pause."...Sure, mom. I'm just a little.....Nervous."Putrid lie.Is that ALL I could do nowadays? Lie to my mother? Lie to everyone about how fine and okay I really was? No! I was torn, broken, crushed and twisted.You know that feeling you get in your chest when you're really upset and your throat gets that knot of rubber in it? That's what I was feeling.~.~.~.~.~There they were-the cutest boys in the world to me, right in front of my face. Arms open to suggest they wanted a hug.Oh, no. Here comes that fake smile again. I wanted to rip it off my face and stomp on it... I hugged back, but not very enthusiastically. I wondered what was wrong with me for a second. Why wasn't I excited? Isn't this what I'd always dreamed of?Then I realized why. Joe Jonas was not there to hug me. It was just Nick and Kevin. Joe was standing aside, his face as hard as stone as I'd ever seen it.This wasn't the Joe I knew.I walked up to him, and his soft, chocolate brown eyes lowered onto me. "Hey," he said. I didn't fight the smile from creeping up onto my face. "Are you excited?""Actually, Joseph, no. I'm not excited, and I don't know why." There was a confused look to his face, but it was gone before I was even sure it was there. "It's just no one ever accepts who I am." My mom-I could feel her eyes on me as I spoke to Joe ever so softly. "Maybe it's just that I'm-me.""I know what you mean."That struck the chord in my heart. How could he know what I mean? He's a celebrity-a faker. That's who they all are! Why don't they just suck it up then?"Joe, you can't ever know what I mean. Maybe people fake around you because they want to be around you-but that's it. My life is all lies! All of it!" I grasped his arm which had been hanging limply by his side. "Joe, you can never understand." And that's when I kissed him on the mouth just for a second and walked away, leaving behind a very confused celebrity and his brothers.xxxxxChapter TwoI know. At this point in the story, you’re probably thinking this is very rushed and a bit pointless. Trust me, it gets better. After I walked away from the Jonas Brothers, several thoughts ran through my head. One was that I had literally kissed Joe Jonas on the mouth. It had felt odd. Like it didn’t belong at that moment, like it was all awkward and unexpected and even a little desperate. That’s just how I was sometimes, even in the mental and emotional state I was in. Second was that I had essentially yelled in his face about him being who he was. That, even for me, was stupid and lawless to do. And third was this voice in my head that was yearning for his warmth, his presence, his gaze, and just him altogether. I wanted him to run back to me, ask me anything, tell me he liked the kiss, tell me he hated it, slapped me, did anything so I could just see him again. But my pride was getting in the way of turning back myself. You know, it’s an odd feeling. This may sound stupid, but I walked away from the Jonas Brothers isn’t something you’d typically read in a story about the Jonas Brothers. Taking that I’m haphazardly making decisions all the time, makes it make a little more sense. Why I did it, I mean. Oh yeah, and by the way, in case you’d forgotten, I’d done this in front of hundreds of JB fans and my mother. For a moment, I thought I didn’t care. I was going to die alone, and crazy old cat-lady living in some old house in the middle of nowhere screaming at any kid getting on my lawn. Did it matter that I walked away from Joe Jonas and his brothers? Did it matter that I had ruined the moment in about fifty thousand different ways? And then, something happened. I turned around. And there was Joe. It was like my heart had been hit with a hammer, because it suddenly stopped. When it started up again, it was like feeling a fist trying to break through my chest with every heartbeat. His deep brown eyes gazed down at me as if I were just any old person, like a friend. And there was even a sparkle of the real Joe in his eyes too. His lips were even curved in a dainty smile. Just like the ones I used to cover up my emotions. But this one seemed genuine. Even if it was small. “What, are you here to tell me I’m going to get arrested now?” I wanted to slap myself in the face. I should just shut my mouth. Right now. Joe flinched a little, his eyebrows quirked...And he stepped back a little. “No.” I didn’t respond. It was like looking at an angel, but just for a moment. He just seemed to radiate hope. I probably looked like I was going to eat him alive. “I just need to
mething in private. Your mom gave me permission.” He offered his hand, I took it. Surprisingly, I gripped on tight. I guess I wasn’t as dependent as I thought I was. I needed his support. His strength. His tight, masculine grip, his hand around mine, his breath on my neck. Maybe it was me attempting to mend my heart without conciously realizing I was doing it. He took me to an opposite, seemingly empty hallway. Our footsteps echoed, our breathing seemed to reverebrate off the walls. It went on forever. I could hear my own heartbeat, fast and hard, and yet sluggish. His eyes turned to me, and I faced him. My hand was trembling, so I clenched it, hoping it would help. It didn’t. He took a deep breath, and his eyes darted to the side. His body language was telling me something, like it was difficult to start speaking. His hesitation was obvious. Then... “What you just did wasn’t something I normally allow from a fan.” My trembling hand stiffened. “But that’s alright, because something...Happened when you....uh...” “Kissed you?” I said it with a tremor in my voice. Harsher than intended. “Yeah, that. Um, listen, what you said was true. It’s true I’m used to people faking around me. But it does get.... Hard to deal with sometimes.” His eyes were on me again, and I felt something warm rise in my chest. I knew he was telling the truth this time. “I’m used to it too. It can take a toll on you...All the lies...” Joe’s face hardened. “And you feel the same way as I do? Have you changed in personality at all?” I flinched. “People say I have. I know you have.... You didn’t welcome me like your brothers did. You had your arms crossed and you were so quiet....” Joe’s eyebrow twitched. And I wondered if I’d said the wrong thing.
mething in private. Your mom gave me permission.” He offered his hand, I took it. Surprisingly, I gripped on tight. I guess I wasn’t as dependent as I thought I was. I needed his support. His strength. His tight, masculine grip, his hand around mine, his breath on my neck. Maybe it was me attempting to mend my heart without conciously realizing I was doing it. He took me to an opposite, seemingly empty hallway. Our footsteps echoed, our breathing seemed to reverebrate off the walls. It went on forever. I could hear my own heartbeat, fast and hard, and yet sluggish. His eyes turned to me, and I faced him. My hand was trembling, so I clenched it, hoping it would help. It didn’t. He took a deep breath, and his eyes darted to the side. His body language was telling me something, like it was difficult to start speaking. His hesitation was obvious. Then... “What you just did wasn’t something I normally allow from a fan.” My trembling hand stiffened. “But that’s alright, because something...Happened when you....uh...” “Kissed you?” I said it with a tremor in my voice. Harsher than intended. “Yeah, that. Um, listen, what you said was true. It’s true I’m used to people faking around me. But it does get.... Hard to deal with sometimes.” His eyes were on me again, and I felt something warm rise in my chest. I knew he was telling the truth this time. “I’m used to it too. It can take a toll on you...All the lies...” Joe’s face hardened. “And you feel the same way as I do? Have you changed in personality at all?” I flinched. “People say I have. I know you have.... You didn’t welcome me like your brothers did. You had your arms crossed and you were so quiet....” Joe’s eyebrow twitched. And I wondered if I’d said the wrong thing.
jbluver123 |
Latest page update: made by jbluver123
, Oct 20 2009, 10:38 PM EDT
(about this update
About This Update
some idiot erased the story so i tried to put it back
- jbluver123
1674 words added 1 image deleted view changes - complete history) |
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| jbluver123 | really? Ps:this is not a rude comment | 0 | Oct 20 2009, 10:40 PM EDT by jbluver123 | ||
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Thread started: Oct 20 2009, 10:40 PM EDT
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SOME IDIOT ERASED THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SORRY GUYS!!!!!!! i tried to put it back
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| jbluver123 | wow | 0 | Sep 20 2009, 5:57 PM EDT by jbluver123 | ||
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Thread started: Sep 20 2009, 5:57 PM EDT
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where is chapter three??????!!!!!!! this is so good. i hope she wrote more!!!!!!!
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| Joe_Lover13 | OMJ | 0 | May 13 2009, 3:14 PM EDT by Joe_Lover13 | ||
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Thread started: May 13 2009, 3:14 PM EDT
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Wheres chapter 3? She needs to right more. I LOVE IT!
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